


strange as it seems, she's endless to me

by threevolt



Series: when skies are grey [4]
Category: Fifth Harmony (Band), fifth harmony - Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-22
Updated: 2013-08-22
Packaged: 2017-12-24 08:19:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/937719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threevolt/pseuds/threevolt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe she's been living in the dark, because she realises that Camila is her sunshine.</p><p>third person, present tense, Lauren's POV</p>
            </blockquote>





	strange as it seems, she's endless to me

Camila knows the little things, like how Swedish Fish always makes her smile. She knows the way Lauren always veers slightly to the right when driving and needs to remember to follow the traffic markings in order to stay in her lane. Sometimes Camila gently guides the steering wheel when Lauren is too busy singing along to the radio at the top of her lungs, or is distracted by Camila’s own singing. When she’s sure that she’s gotten control of the wheel, she’ll turn up the stereo when a Lana song comes on. She seems to know a million random facts about Lauren—her mannerisms and her favourite things. She notes the way her voice gets higher-pitched when she’s excited, and which words bring out her accent. She shares this with Lauren and doesn’t fail to make fun of her use of _“Pero, like.”_ Most days, she reminds Lauren that drinking apple and beet juice is necessary for sticking to her diet, but on sad days, she just hands her a jar of nutella and a spoon. If it’s a hot day, she gets her vanilla ice cream with sprinkles. (Camila gets chocolate, of course.) 

She always closes the door behind her when she follows Lauren into a room. Lauren finds the way she’ll randomly reach over to poke her cheek, just for a reaction, absolutely endearing. When Camila pokes her ribs, it’s a little less endearing, but she welcomes it; it draws out her competitiveness, and it seems that their tickle fights last forever. It never matters where they are. Camila often forgets herself—she’s constantly in her own world, and she always takes Lauren along with her. She allows Lauren to forget about pretences and appearances, makes her unafraid to act silly and dance in public to music that only they can hear. 

She’s familiar, and she’s comfortable. She’s still young, and innocent. Still naïve. But she never ceases to put a smile on Lauren’s face.

Miami has always felt like home. It's where she was born and lived most her life. Lauren has always felt like she belonged there, with the Cubans and plantains and the tropical beaches. But most of all, it's where Camila is. Miami is just a place; Camila is what makes it real. She keeps her safe. She's warm, she's bright, she's sunshine. 

When they move, the first thing she notices is that LA is fast-paced. It's new and exciting. It's still sunny though, and she's glad to have Camila with her. They visit the beach and the pier, but it feels different. It isn't Miami. They're far away now, and Camila isn't always there these days.It gets colder, and the air is drier. The smog makes her cough, and the traffic is exhausting. It's crowded and busy and she can't afford to spend lazy days at the beach like she used to. 

It takes her a while to adjust, but Logan is there to help her. His blue eyes are full of promise and he takes her on adventures. He's been in the business far longer than she, and he knows his way around. He's street smart and has connections and has this way of speaking that makes Lauren swoon. He always keeps her on her feet, and she never knows what he'll do or say or show her next. It's like he has limitless knowledge that's somehow even bigger than the city they’re in. 

Something tells Lauren to be careful. LA is threatening, and people glare at her and everyone else when they walk down the street. She doesn't even particularly feel safe with Logan, but curiosity takes precedence, and she follows him anyway. They've only known each other a couple months, but she's decided to give him a little blind faith. He makes her feel new, and she craves the excitement he brings her. It gives her chills.

With Logan, the feeling he gives her is completely foreign. He shows her endless possibilities of how to live, and they connect on a level she's never been on with anyone else. It's like he gets right in her head and finds a way to say the things she's never found the right words for. His eyes are even more piercing than her own and they make her shiver. She can't figure out what it is she sees when she looks in them, though. She just lets herself fall.

LA nightlife consumes her. She’s only just turned eighteen, but being a celebrity and Logan’s plus one gets her into most clubs and parties. He gets her drinks, which she accepts, because if she’s already partying, she might as well go all out. She embraces Logan’s ‘live in the moment’ philosophy and is happy to go along with whatever he suggests. He always gets her home safe at night, or rather, in the early hours of the morning. It tires her out, especially on days she has work with the girls, but when the night comes, she finds herself with him again. Lauren shares everything with him—her thoughts, her dreams, her bed. She doesn't even realise how much she's lost herself in him. It’s the way he looks at her, and the words he speaks that make her knees go weak—the next thing she knows, she’s pouring out her heart and soul to him, but she still isn’t sure why. She forgets a lot of things when she's with him, but deems them unimportant if they aren’t in her ‘here and now.’ She’s content to exist wherever Logan is. She follows him into the tides and lets the cold wash over her.

She's almost forgotten what the warmth feels like by now. She's grown distant from Camila. The other girls understand that she wants to spend her free time with her boyfriend, since the entire workday is spent with them. Ally admits that if Troy were in LA, she’d be doing the same. Lauren’s still herself when she’s around them—she sings, she laughs, she talks in interviews. Something feels off, though. Something’s lacking. It’s the warmth. Camila doesn’t reach out to hold her hand during performances anymore, doesn’t high-five her when she agrees with her during an interview. Instead, she shoots her looks when they’re backstage, and Lauren feels something stab at her when she looks into those puppy-dog eyes.

Lauren doesn’t know why it takes her so long to realise how much she misses Camila. She doesn’t know when the last time they sat next to each other in an interview was. She can’t even remember their last conversation that wasn’t in the public eye. Even the #camren tag isn’t as active as it used to be. She checks. She wants those moments with her Camz back, the late night talks on tour bus bunks and sharing a jar of nutella with the same spoon. Just the thought makes her face light up with a smile. As she scrolls down tumblr, she spots a gifset of nutella that was just reblogged by ‘waakeme-up.’ Her eyes linger on the heart-shaped button for a few seconds as she clicks ‘like.’ Camila knows her way too well.

How much does Logan really know about her? He’s all about the big picture, with crazy concepts and ideas and plans. The little things don’t mean much to him, not like they do to Camila. Camila, who sorts out Sour Patch Kids and leaves her the red and green ones and that warm, fuzzy feeling. 

Maybe she’s been living in the dark, because she realises that Camila is her sunshine. 

But does it matter whether or not Logan knows her favourite flavours, when he makes her feel alive? The nighttime is enticing, and she could live forever in the dark with him. Or so she lets herself believe.


End file.
